Reflections on 2010

Just warning you, this is going to be pretty boring.

It's New Year's eve. I had originally planned on attending a New Year's party with some friends tonight, but when I woke up this morning I was feeling run down. And then I popped my jaw which cause a severe headache and overall soreness.

So the last thing I discovered in 2010 is that I grind my teeth at night.

Anyway.

It's been a long year. A very looonnggg year.

Last Christmas, my whole family sat around, laughing, opening presents. My Uncle was doing better. He was joking, doing card tricks, trying to sell off the Topsy Turvy Tomato Grower in the gift exchange.

I don't know what I did for all of January, other than going to Disneyland a few times, but I returned to school in the Spring and took my first classes toward being a teacher. Doing observations and working with the students was reassuring that being an elementary teacher was really what I wanted to do. This was also my first semester out of the Torrey program. I actually bought all my books, read half of Canterbury Tales and then made my decision to leave. Some of my closest friends today were in my Torrey group with me, but there was something about it that just wasn't working for me. Mostly I think it was that I didn't feel I had a very solid knowledge of the Bible, and I certainly knew almost nothing about Theology or Church History, which led to my feeling lost a lot of the time. I really wanted to be able to take Bible classes. So I dropped out so that I could.

I loved my dorm community. My RA was wonderful, my roommate would stay up late with me to watch The Swan Princess, and there was a fantastic feeling of living in a sort of neighborhood. I went on my dorm's Kilt Run and I experienced my first Kilt Fest (where I had a blast running around covered in mud, face paint, and sweat, throwing around dead fish).

I went to the shooting range for the first time, and got to practice shooting various pistols, revolvers, military rifles, police shotguns, and an AK-47. My roommate sprained her ankle and I took her to get X-rays, I went apple bowling, cheered at a Biola Vs. APU Basketball game, and hunted down food at Norms at 2am.

Somehow, I was convinced to join a Mock Rock group. I was so hesitant. I ended up co-choreographing two parts of out number, and spend many late nights in the Production Center rehearsing. We didn't win, but we were one of the favorites, and it was one of the best experiences I've had at Biola.

Ironically, it happened very close to one of my least favorite experiences: Spring Banquet. This was one of those times when the 'must-be-a-couple' pressure of some students angered me. (and for more about this night, see http://woodscommaelle.blogspot.com/2010/04/independance.html)

When Summer arrived, I went on a road trip with some friends to New Mexico for the wedding of my friend (and roommate from freshman year). When I got back home, I was re-hired for my old job and proceeded to work from 9-5 for the rest of the Summer. I dyed my hair the color I had wanted for a few years and road-tripped to San Francisco. I met some amazing people on that trip.

When I returned back to school in the fall, I had a new roommate. Many of the girls on my floor had been in Mock Rock with me, and I've grown close to many of them. Overall, fall was filled with coloring pages, sharing a comradely over knitting and pie and Pushing Daisies, Harry Potter, and Disneylanding. Due to various reasons, my roommate was unable to stay in the dorm, so I spent much of the semester on my own, allowing for a lot of reflection.

My Uncle Jim died in the beginning of November. I couldn't sleep at all for the next few days, and I didn't sleep well for the next couple months. Driving alone was difficult, I was distracted and exhausted in class, and I didn't feel like talking most of the time. And I know it was infinitely harder on my cousins and my aunt.

The end of the semester was a sick, difficult blur. I was so stressed, I made myself sick. I had huge papers due all at once, and due to the fact that I had been unable to focus for the last two months, finishing them felt impossible. One Saturday, I actually drank two pots of coffee through the day, with a couple cups of tea in the middle, and finished with 5 Red Bulls. All it did was let my brain understand the concept of reading a page and keep my eyes open.

As I said earlier, Christmas this year didn't feel like Christmas. I still don't feel as though Christmas has happened. I don't feel like it's New year's eve. I don't feel like I'm returning to school on Sunday to start my Interim class.