Thoughts on the Future

I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. Both the immediate future and the not-so-near future. For now, I'll just talk about the former.

I've been considering applying to be an RA all semester. I never had any desire to be an RA before, but for some reason this year, about a week after moving in, I started to think that it might be something I would really enjoy. I've gone back and forth on what I'm going to do.

On one hand: I would love to be an RA. I love planning events and hanging out with girls on my floor. I'm always ready to listen to people and to offer what feeble advice I can. I love doing the "organized, secretarial/receptionist" jobs, and feeling on top of things. I love interacting with people. Plus, I need a job.

On the other hand: would I get too stressed out with this job? Next year I will be taking only 4 units of Torrey, instead of 12. Granted, I will have other classes to attend. But when I get overworked and overstressed I get sick (due to my immune system). Would it be better for me to have a 'typical' 9-5 job where I can just go to work and leave? There are always extra things that come up for RA's to deal with and even when you aren't on duty, you still have a job to do.

As much as I felt, I guess you could say 'called' to be an RA, my most recent decision was no. I shouldn't apply to be an RA. I probably won't get the job, and even if I did, it would probably be easier to just work in the library or something.

Until I checked my mail last night and found a letter. Do you ever get the feeling when you get a letter, or a gift with no return address that it might be from that one person you really hope would think of you? You know it's impossible, but that thought lingers in the back of your head. It's like wishful make-up-ing. Then you finally open the letter, and you enjoy it, but your heart sinks a little bit.
When I opened my letter, I was just as happy as if it really had been a love letter from an admirer. My RD sent me a letter saying that I was one of the residents who had come to his attention as someone who would be a wonderful RA.
I can't tell you how flattered I was, especially since I wanted to be an RA so much.

I am still considering the future and what my final decision will be. But at the moment, I am leaning towards applying. I can reason in my head that it may be easier to just go to work for a couple of hours, but I also know that it won't be as rewarding. I have no idea why, but I really really want to do this. I suppose it's the feeling that there may be a way for me to minister to those around me and to care for my floor and be there for them. I've been talking to my friends who are RAs (3 of them) to get a better idea of what the job entails. I am praying that I make the best decision and that, if I do apply, I only get the job if it's where God really wants me to be.